Be forewarned. This is a rant. I’ve seen my fair share of “African-American” comedies (or as Dr. Abdul Hakim Jackson would say, Blackamerican comedies). Actually, I’m not even going to limit this to comedies, because I’ve seen quite serious dramas deteriorate in a similar fashion. What I’m referring to here is “the booty factor.” It seems we cannot escape it, except by avoiding most Blackamerican movies.

Every time a black woman comes on the screen in one of these movies, the men are awestruck. They stare, drool, and pant. This is not surprising, as most men actually do this (present company excluded). Where these movies differ is all in the camera angle. Suddenly, the camera zooms in on the woman’s rear end, and we’re “moonstruck” by the footage. There is usually no warning for this and no justifiable reason.

You’re probably thinking that it’s my own fault for watching these low-class movies. You are right. It’s just that, ever so often, I’d like to see someone with color (who’s not Tyler Perry in a gray wig) on the screen . Furthermore, movies that, in some cases, are otherwise quite wholesome are completely demoralized and cheapened by two or three bootyzooms. It’s sickening!

The only Blackamerican movies that do not include such exploits are extremely heavy dramas, such as Rosewood. Don’t get me wrong, I love Rosewood, but it’s from a rare class.

Black women, who are much more than just round objects that move from side to side (I should know, I was raised by one and am married to one), should be outraged every time they see it, every time they’re asked to do it, and every time a man watches it and enjoys it. Why do we even need to complain about the oppression to which we’re subjected when we have become the main catalysts? It must come to an end, even if the only black face I ever see in a movie again is Samuel L. Jackson playing someone’s sidekick or an angry cop holding white people hostage. Hey, he was probably just upset from the bootylicious movie that he watched the night before, so who could blame him?

Zahra turned two years old on Friday. It was quite a hectic day with relatives over our house. Taubah went all out with the food and decorations, mashaAllah. Zahra has WAY too many toys, and she knows it. You can check out some of the photos in the gallery. I still have a lot to load.

This time of year in America is always amazing to me. I wouldn’t miss it for the world; not because I celebrate Christmas, but because it feels SO good to NOT celebrate it. I remember, growing up, how stressed people got, how I would make sure my “santa” list wasn’t too much for my parents to afford, Christmas plays at school, trees, songs, movies, etc. None of it means anything. Those purist Christians, who have returned to a more traditional observance of Christmas, know it. They know the commercial mega-money-maker that it has become.

A few days ago, a news station ran a report on Anthem (one of the biggest medical insurance companies in the world), having a toy drive to collect toys for those children who cannot afford them. Two observations: 1) If I could not afford toys, then I probably couldn’t afford food and clothes either. Give me the essentials first! 2) With all of the money that Anthem steals from poor HMO plans that cost people their arms and legs (sometimes literally), why would they need to collect toys from other people and then deliver them? Why don’t they buy all of the toys themselves?

Nevertheless, my #1 reason for celebrating my lack of celebration of Christmas is the “Christmas Spirit.” It is infectious like a disease and equally as maddening. This week, while driving to and from work, people have been honking at me, yelling, giving dirty looks, driving excessively fast, having accidents, etc. People are stressed, suicide and homicide rates are on high, and the general “spirit” of the holiday is that commercialization rules and everyone MUST be a slave to it. The wife who says, “Oh honey, we don’t have to do the gift thing this year,” doesn’t really mean it. And anyone who says, “Well, it’s the thought that counts,” will probably be at Wal-Mart on December 26th exchanging their light-up singing bowtie for something they can actually wear.

I’ve heard the “progressive” Muslims ask, “Why don’t Muslims celebrate Christmas? We should appropriate American culture!” We should appropriate materialism, high blood pressure, stress, and anxiety? I don’t think so. Even if I had not converted to Islam, I would not make December 25th anything special in my family. It is not the birthday of Jesus (peace be upon him). It is a polytheistic holiday that Christians of the new Roman Empire “appropriated.” Yes, it’s true. The date, the tree, and all of the trimmings are a sham.

I’m finished with MSN, AIM, Yahoo!, and all the other proprietary messaging protocols. It’s WAY too much work to keep track of all of it.

If anyone really wants to chat with me, they can do it with jabber:

adibudeen@jabber.anywise.com

To find out more, go to http://www.jabber.org

I’m just now really getting over the illness I’ve had for the past couple of weeks, alhamdulillah. Nothing really serious to report.

Last time I mentioned anything about sports, the Colts were 9-0. Now they’re 13-0, clinched the AFC South Division Title, a first round bye in the playoffs, and home field advantage for the entire playoffs (excluding the Super Bowl, of course).

Now the question is, will Coach Tony Dungy play the starters or rest them for the next three games? I think most people are looking at the dilemma all wrong. They figure, if he plays them, they have a chance to do something only one other team has ever done in history, go undefeated. If he rests them, they’ll probably lose (although it’d be quite crazy if they still won), but the players won’t get injured.

The way I see it, though, playing is a win-win situation. The players haven’t been hurt up to this point, and I don’t believe in luck. Teams that are well conditioned (physically and mentally) tend to stay healthy. Anyway, the real problem with resting and why I think they should avoid it, is that the players will be TOO rested. They’re used to playing every snap of every game. They even hate missing a practice. Now imagine them being off for three weeks, plus the first round bye. That’s an entire month of not playing. They’ll be so rusty that they’ll probably lose their first playoff game.

You have to stay fresh, and if you have the momentum of a perfect season riding into the playoffs, I think I could sacrifice an injury or two (that might not even happen). Besides, “perfect” is so much better than just “good.”