Shake your wanny fanny funky song funky song

Shake your wanny fanny fu-unky song!

I’ll give a prize to the first person who can comment with the show where that song originated.

The only proper and truly “American” way to celebrate our independence is to trivialize it with rock and roll music, flag waving, and random images of patriotism. And few have accomplished that the way that the following man has. So, this one’s for you, America:

Oh yeah, and it never hurts to head butt the flag of a communist country now and then.

What the meat industry doesn’t want you to see, the truth about how animals are treated in factory farms:

Warning: this is not for the faint of heart or a weak stomach.

Meat.org

For whatever stupid reason, I’ve been queuing blog posts in my mind instead of just posting them. As a result, I’ll probably do several separate posts this weekend.

My first one has to be about the Michael Vick case.

I’m not going to comment on whether I think he was treated fairly or on the media circus that has resulted from it. I just want to take this moment to tell Michael Vick how stupid it was to be involved with dog fighting.

He could’ve done cock fighting, gerbil fighting, heck, even people fighting wouldn’t have drawn the negative publicity and collective outcry of shame that dogfighting has rained on him.

This is America, land of baseball and apple pie, yes, but it is also land of the dogs. Dogs have their own houses, their own beds, their own dishes, toothbrushes, spas, doctors…need I go on? Think about it: Rin-tin-tin, Spuds MacKenzie, Scooby-Doo, Lassie, Benji, Snoopy, heck, even Cujo got respect from Americans.

For Americans, dogs are more important than just about anything else. Many Americans would rather have dogs than children. They love their dogs, Michael. Why would you hurt the one thing Americans would actually sacrifice themselves for? At one time, dogs probably had more rights than African Americans (no I’m not kidding).

This is serious business, folks. Michael Vick could have shot a black man in the back of the head in the middle of his front yard and buried him in plain sight, and it wouldn’t have generated as much anger from the American public.

But shooting a dog? Bro, you can forget it. Pack your bags. It’s not even about animal rights. Americans will kill bunnies to have nice looking makeup on their runway models. But dogs? No, you couldn’t even kill a dog for food if you were starving to death. It’s twisted but true. In America, all dogs go to Heaven, and all enemies of dogs go to Hell. And it’s hot, Michael, hotter than the hottest days in Atlanta.